The Battle

Some people were just born to homeschool. It is their passion. This is not me. I am a work in progress. Just last week I was so done. Done. DONE! And it's only kindergarten! I even went as far as to make an appointment with the principal of a private Christian school in town. I am still planning on going so that we can be more educated on our options, but I feel like I've come back around to being committed to homeschool this next year. Is this going to happen every year? Or shall I say, every month? As I try to process through what is going on in this crazy, often irrational, mind of mine I have come to understand that this is a lack of trust in God. No matter what, I need to trust that God is going to work in the lives of my children. God can work in the lives of my children whether they are in public, private or homeschool. Granted, I believe that I can create a more solid foundation at home and protect my kids from alot of negative influences that may affect their view of God, but if I begin to believe that this is the only way, than I am not trusting in the sovereignty of our God and Savior.

Do you remember when we were very young, and in school we saw the picture of the ape changing and progressing into the humans that we are today? I remember looking at that picture and knowing without a doubt that it was a bunch of bologna. Why did I know that? I don't remember anyone specifically telling me that, but I know that He was written in my heart and was drawing me to Himself at a very young age. Maybe if I was homeschooled, I would have been protected from that and maybe wouldn't have had to wrestle with it as much or at least at such an early age, but yet God was still working. God was using Christians in my life to show me that this was not truth. School is where many children begin to doubt the reality of God because they see things in science or social studies or hear things from their teachers or friends that don't line up with Scripture. They begin to take note of these things and if they are not engaged by parents at home and taken to Scripture and rightly trained, it can be disastrous to their young faith. I am not downplaying that reality at all. And much of this is why we have chosen to homeschool. I guess it comes down to bathing your children in prayer and being diligent to pursue them in whatever school setting they are in. No matter what, we need to be filling our children with the truth of God's Word and fighting against the influences of the world around us. And, of course, TRUSTING GOD!!! This world is opposed to the very things of God and we need to be fighting for our kids' hearts and minds.

As I wrestled through this inner battle for the umpteenth time, I again was reassured that I need more time with Logan at home encouraging him and giving him a better foundation so that he is better able to make good decisions in the future. And if we choose homeschool, I need to trust that God will work through me and I will be able to carry it out on a daily basis. Can I trust that God will give me the strength, desire and diligence to follow through?

So, for now I don't have to change the subtitle to this blog. . .but check back next week and it might be different!